Home Funny Everyone Can Relax, Yoga Is Still Banned In Alabama, America Is Saved

Everyone Can Relax, Yoga Is Still Banned In Alabama, America Is Saved

by Sloane Hughes
The LIFE Photographs Assortment by way of G

Stretching? In OUR good Christian neighborhoods?! Nuh-uh, buddy!

It’s at all times good to see elected officers and civilians coming collectively to push for optimistic change, and specializing in points that actually matter.

This isn’t a kind of instances!

Earlier this week Alabama Rep. Jeremy Grey put forth Bill AL HB246, the aim of this invoice being to overturn a ban on yoga in public colleges that has stood since in 1993. Let’s all take a deep breath in by the nostril, out by the mouth, after which come to heart to learn that once more.

Yoga has been banned in Alabama public colleges since 1993

as a result of —prepare for it—

that may promote Hinduism.

You’d suppose the oldsters who put that invoice in impact and have been backing all of it these years could be big supporters of yoga, given how large of a fucking stretch that is. Doing yoga results in Hinduism simply as a lot as swimming results in changing into a dolphin. Conservative teams in Alabama pushed again exhausting in opposition to this invoice, with one arguing “If this invoice passes, then instructors will be capable to come into school rooms as younger as kindergarten and convey these youngsters by guided imagery, which is a religious train, and it’s outdoors their dad and mom’ view. And we simply imagine that this isn’t acceptable,” however what I need to know is, why cease there?

You already know what else is outdoors the view of fogeys? Math.

You already know that the quantity 666 is the variety of the Satan, and do you know that if youngsters kind 80085 right into a calculator it seems just like the phrase BOOBS?! Why are we permitting math, which teaches harmless youngsters demonic numbers and promotes BOOBS, in public colleges?!

One thing to consider!

In defending the invoice, Jeremy Grey stated after doing yoga for ten years he has but to develop into a Hindu —simply what a secret Hindu rebel hellbent on destroying the material of America would say— and although the invoice would merely permit for public colleges to authorize yoga as a bodily train “restricted solely to sitting, standing, reclining, twisting, and balancing”, that’s simply too dangerous.

That’s how they getcha, y’know. Balancing and standing.

However don’t fear, everybody, the invoice was not handed, yoga continues to be banned in Alabama public colleges. Lawmakers and anxious residents with firmly clenched buttholes continued to guard Alabama’s youth from the hazard that’s flexibility. Namaste.

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