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Pervert Cruise Commercial

by Grace Thomas
pervert-cruise-commercial

If you wish to expose your self to COVID-19 whereas spreading the illness to over a dozen island nations, then that is the cruise for you!


Welcome to Circus Cruise Strains!

We’re joyful to announce that coronavirus has not derailed our plans for the annual Pervert Cruise!! It can set sail subsequent week as scheduled.

The Pervert Cruise is a crucial a part of the US financial system that should happen even when it should have the next demise toll than the Iraq warfare!

In the event you wanna expose your self to COVID-19 within the worst attainable surroundings whereas spreading it to over a dozen Island Nations, then that is the cruise for you! Congress gave us three trillion {dollars} in bailout cash, and we put all of it into constructing the tallest cruise ship of all time. 780 tales of enjoyable that each one fall over with simply the slightest gust of wind!

Let our crew members strap you into little pig mass and oil up your little piggy our bodies till you squeal like dying swine ready for the candy launch of the slaughter home. Additionally – we’d like your assist. Name your senator now and ask them to assist the smoke on the water act, making it authorized for us to set our cruise ships on hearth at our discretion!

Don’t neglect to take a dip in our pool that’s full of the tears of all the staff, we compelled to come back again to work. (To all Circus Cruise Strains staff, we thanks on your service, and we’ll give every of you the ocean burial, you ineffective peasants deserve!) and naturally it wouldn’t be a Perverts Cruise with out all of the ships pipes bursting as quickly as we set sail, giving everybody the chance to bang whereas the hallways fill with sewage.

This cruise is on the identical ship that James Cameron plans to make use of to shoot his subsequent movie “Titanic 2 Avatar 5.” That’s proper. This time the Avatars are on the Titanic.

Be happy to make use of our waiters as human tissues at any of our 5 star eating places on board!

What’s our ultimate vacation spot? The Pacific Ocean Rubbish Patch, which Circus Cruise Strains has bought and renamed “the Pacific Ocean Rubbish Resort and Mass Grave.”

Circus Cruise Strains: it’s time to die.


CREDITS

Written by Lauren Thomas and Grace Thomas

Directed by Grace Thomas

Expertise: Tamara Yajia

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